Do you want to know howto upgrade confidence?

Think Positive About Your Self Confidence!

2008-08-13T00:50:00.000-07:00

A person’s self confidence is their ability to believe in themselves. People with a high self confidence are optimistic, assertive, and eager individuals ready to take on the world and conquer the goals. On the other hand, people with a low self confidence find themselves often distant and despondent, constantly questioning themselves and often passive or submissive.

Self confidence is the key to succeeding in your academic pursuits, athletic activities, employment field, and private life. Individuals that entertain a high sense of self confidence usually go on to phenomenally succeed, whereas individuals with a low sense of self confidence tend to be brought down by their inner demons and fail.

The trap of low self confidence is extremely easy to fall into and extremely difficult to remove yourself. That tiny voice in the back of your head that criticizes, questions, and insults can easily grow louder and louder the more you listen. Instead of traditional angel on one should and devil on the other, someone with low self confidence finds the devil there more often than not. Instead of boosting themselves up by enjoying their accomplishments or congratulating themselves on a job well done, individuals with low self esteem find their shoulder devil is constantly picking and finding fault in the midst of triumph.

They key to maintaining a high self esteem is positive thinking. Individuals that think of themselves in a positive light are more likely to have a higher self confidence than those nay-sayers in the crowd. One way to remain positive and keep and upbeat aura is to surround yourself with positive people.

Avoid individuals who criticize, nit pick, and put down. These negative individuals are a sinking ship and will only bring you down with them. By surrounding yourself with positive people, you will find it easier to maintain your high sense of a self worth and banish that devil from your shoulder. If you find yourself in a situation where you must deal with individuals with a negative outlook, confront them on the matter.

Often, office gossip, school yard taunts, or home issues bury themselves deep within our minds and wreck havoc on our self confidence. Instead of allowing yourself to be burdened by these harmful words and thoughts, fight back! Refuse to stoop to their level, but insist the back biting and drama cease with the negative words.

This task is certain to be difficult and the easiest thing to do is to walk away and let yourself moon over the hurtful words and thoughts, but the right thing to do is to attempt to put a stop to the situation. If the individuals refuse to cease, continue, or even worsen their actions, then break apart from the trend. Unfortunately, this may mean ending relationships, both personal and job related.

If you find yourself surrounded by so-called friends who constantly make you feel poorly about yourself and lower your self confidence, it might be time to part ways. Remember, friends, family, and loved ones are supposed to make you feel good about yourself and have your best interest at heart. This is not always the case and friends by title alone can do more harm than most enemies.

Furthermore, personal relationships can have the same—if not worse—affect on one’s self confidence level. Quite often, individuals in abusive relationships find themselves despondent and upset about their situation. If a loved one is making you feel poorly about yourself by constant criticism, abusive language, and distrusting actions, drastic circumstances may be due.

Make the case for a change in the relationship and make your loved one understand what his or her words, thoughts, or actions do to your self confidence. If this fails, you may need to make a painful break, but remember, your loved ones are supposed to love and support you at all times. If someone is failing to do so, they have not fulfilled their role in you life.

How to Imbue Self-Confidence in Children

2008-08-12T21:42:00.001-07:00

It is very rightly said that what your child does at 13 very much decides what he will be doing at 30. If he learns to hold his head high no matter what comes, he will certainly sow seeds of happiness, success and prosperity that he can reap when he becomes an adult. It is the duty of every parent to create a atmosphere where a child can learn to be self-confident, responsible and courageous. Believe in the ability of your child, encourage him to take initiative and you will be amazed to see what he can do!

Be self-confident as a parent

Children learn by imitating adults, and as parents are the ones who stay the most with the child, the child gets to become like his parents. A self-confident behavior on part of the parent unconsciously establishes self-confident nature as a life skills of the child. A child is a great observer. So much so that it has been said that a child is the father of man!

Observation makes the first half of learning while doing makes the second half. So if he observes you staying idle, not completing your tasks in time, getting confused at the last hour and the resulting fights and bouts of your temper, he might never know the right way to handle situations. He will also be struggling with devils like procrastination and indiscipline.

Give time to your baby

Spending time with your baby is very important. It may be very tempting to put the baby in a daycare and carry on with your day-to-day activities as a parent. You may have an excuse that, after all, you are working so that you can earn and all your earning is for none other than the child.

However, what your child needs is you and your time. His treasures are the games you play with him, the long walks you take him to, the way you help in his studies, and the way you tell him what he means to you. This imbues a sense of security in the child that makes him automatically confident. He knows that he has nothing to worry about. Once your child gets strong and self-confident, he won’t need your money, as he will have the aptitude and strength to go out and earn for himself. As the old proverb goes, give a fish to a man and you take care of him for one day. Teach a man how to fish and you take care of him for a lifetime. That is how it must be!

Be a loveable family

The best thing a man can do for his child is to love his mother. Yes. Nothing works better. Children are the worst sufferers should there be any troubles between you and your spouse. These little souls are too sensitive and your yelling at each other cuts deep in his heart and puts lasting scars. A baby is a gift, the most amazing thing nature can gift you - he is your blood. Make sure you take care of him. Love is the most essential thing of all, for in a home where there is love can happiness and prosperity be far behind?

Have faith in your child

As parents, you may have many concerns about the safety and security of your child, but make sure you don’t overprotect your child. You cannot be everywhere for him and it’s he himself who has to learn to make his mark in this world. Faith is the best encouragement. To be trusted is sometimes an even greater compliment that being loved.

Trust your child and give him small tasks to complete. Nothing is as grand for a child than being given the responsibility to handle a task. He feels honored. His self-worth increases. Guide him to complete task successfully and soon he will have his unique way of doing things. Nature gave him the wings of imagination. Don’t clip them. Encourage him and let him fly.

Self Confident People Make a Mighty Nation

2008-08-04T22:15:00.000-07:00

Self-confident people generate money

Self-confident people are filled with optimism and positive thoughts. They have an “I Can” attitude towards life and think it is possible to do great things. They are an asset to the organization they work for as they can be given tasks that demand greater responsibility and accountability.

They hence keep up the quality, which in turn helps their employers to reap greater profits and thus contribute to the well being of both employees and the employer. People like Bill Gates have contributed millions of dollars to the economies of their countries and have been involved in lots of philanthropic work worldwide as well.

Self-confident people generate jobs

Self-confident people are natural risk takers and have enough courage to pursue their innovative dreams. Self-confident people often work very hard for the dreams they believe in and often end up as becoming successful entrepreneurs. They create a lot of jobs for others by their innovative business ventures.

Though Edison faced a lot of difficulties as a child, his mother ensured that his self-confidence did not die. She made all efforts to encourage him and see him become successful. Today GE started by Edison is one of the world’s most competitive corporate organizations and is a hugely admired employer of thousands of people

Self-confident people make the nation self dependent

Entrepreneurs are a great catalyst of growth in any country. They do not sit idly waiting for the government reforms to come and pull them out. Instead they work out innovative ideas, which have commercial feasibility as well. They share the burden of the state by employing other people and giving them jobs.

It saves the government lots of effort and money that could have been wasted in providing for the jobless youth. The money saved can then be routed to other developmental works for the benefit of all. The country does not need to borrow from the organisations like the World Bank and can deal with its developmental affairs independently.

Self-confident people present a better image of the nation

A nation of busy people conducting their day-to-day affairs is much better picture than having unemployed people taking on bad habits and creating a nuisance. Self-confident people are the face of any country, signifying optimism, hard work, determination and self-reliance. This helps the country to portray a picture of hope, dynamism, and growth to foreign investors who would like to conduct business activity and invest money in the country. This help create more and more jobs and a culture of hard work and achievement.

Self-confident people develop a habit of winning

Failure is an addiction and so is winning. It is just a matter of putting your efforts and thoughts in the right direction to become a winner and self-confident people do just that. A positive thought and self-confidence is what is needed to take an initiative, and a small achievement becomes the source of energy. This energy also gives a boost to the self-confidence of a person to take on a bigger leap and get successful. Thus every achievement breeds another initiative for yet another achievement!

Self-confident people help other people achieve their dreams

A person other than having the feeling of kindness and compassion for fellow human beings should also have enough resources or the ability to create resources to be able to help other people for the same. Self-confident people therefore are willing to give a helping hand to people and pull them up.

Self-confident people are an inspiration to others

Self-confident people succeed on both their professional and personal fronts. Self-confident people are respected and often spark others to perform as well and serve as a great inspiration for other people. People take a lesson from their struggles and their ability to turn failure into achievement.

Self-confident people strengthen the fabric of society

An idle mind is a devil’s workshop. Self-confident people in a way save the society from the devil by being busy and involved in constructive activities. People tend to get inspired from self-confident people and the general atmosphere becomes that of hard work and achievement. Such an environment is conducive for growth and development and self-confident people should be given every credit for the same. This overall movement raises the overall self-confidence of the nation and makes it more competitive and a confident participant in the world economic scenario.

Self Confidence in Parenting

2008-07-31T18:23:00.000-07:00

There's a reason why so many people say it's the hardest job you'll ever have--raising a child. It's challenging, exciting, nerve-wracking, and one of the most amazing things you'll ever experience. Raising a child will put you through every emotion possible, including self-doubt.

Along with the joy of raising a child can come the fear that you're going to do something wrong, create permanent psychological damage, or a whole list of other things that may not go quite right. But relax--keeping a few simple things in mind can help raise your confidence as a parent.

First, know that you will make mistakes. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. If you keep this in mind, you can take a great deal of pressure off yourself. Do your best, of course, but understand that there will be bumps along the road--possibly quite a few of them.

Rather than trying to be a perfect parent, do what you can to prepare for those bumps. Understand where your child is in development and learn what to expect; then expect the unexpected. Also remember that the worst may not happen. Your child may not go through the "terrible twos" or be a reckless teenager. Remember that all children are different. Try not to compare your child or your parenting to others or you may cause yourself unnecessary stress.

Don't believe everything the experts say. Sure, many experts have experience working with hundreds or even thousands of children. Listen to what they have to say, but don't take it as the final say. You know your child better than anyone, and if a piece of advice doesn't seem right for your child, trust your instincts. You're probably right. What may have worked for others may not work for you, and that's okay.

Family and friends are also likely to provide you with ample advice, some of which may be useful and some of which may not. Try to avoid the temptation of giving in to pressure from others if you feel that it is not right for your family situation. This can be difficult, particularly in close relationships. But establishing those boundaries because you know what's best for your child will help increase your confidence simply by knowing that you can determine what's best for you and stand up for it.

Spend time with your child. This may sound like old advice, but more and more studies show that children whose parents show an interest in them are better equipped to deal with some of life's challenges. This also helps you know your child better, which will in turn help you make better choices. It works well for everyone involved.

Seek help when you need it. This may sound contradictory to the earlier statements, but it's actually not. When you know your child and his or her needs well, you have a much better understanding of what advice to accept and what to reject. If you are dealing with a difficult or serious situation, and feel that it is out of your control, it's time to seek outside help.

This does not mean you are a failure. Rather, it shows that you are confident enough in yourself and your parenting to recognize that you may not have all the answers. Certain situations, such as out of control behavior or drug abuse require outside intervention. It's okay to ask for help when you need it, so don't put yourself down if this is the case.

Finally, remember that you are doing the best you can at any given moment. Life doesn't go smoothly all the time, and this is often most obvious in parenting. It's okay to make mistakes and even admit them. And when your children see you do this, you'll show them that a confident person is not perfect and that everyone makes mistakes from time to time. This in turn will help your children feel more confident when they make mistakes, too.

Self Confidence Counseling

2008-07-23T23:50:00.000-07:00

To lose your self confidence is to lose your very fiber of trust in yourself. Instead of a person able to freely make sound judgment calls and possesses excellent decision making skills, individuals that lack self confidence are constantly second guessing themselves and often unable to make even the simplest decision without gnawing worry and concern.

If you have found yourself to be slipping into the pit of low self confidence, do not worry, there is hope! Instead of berating yourself over poor actions that occurred in the past, change your future. Seek out counseling that will enable you to rebuild and maintain your self confidence at unparalleled levels.

The first step to self confidence counseling is making the commitment to seek out and attend these helpful sessions. Whether private or in a group setting, this counseling can be the spark that changes your life. You may enter the sessions as a self doubting, passive individual, but you will leave full of hope and optimism with the ability to totally trust your own actions and judgments. Before you enter counseling, consider any potential obstacles in your current life.

Perhaps your spouse, family member, friend, or co-worker has lowered your self confidence and may be detrimental to your counseling. Perhaps you have experienced low self confidence since childhood and need to break the cycle imposed upon you by your parents or guardians.

Maybe you are in a difficult situation at your job, with employees, bosses, or colleagues constantly tearing away at your self confidence. Whatever the case, you should be prepared to make the commitment to begin a new way of life in order to rebuild your self confidence. Even the smallest changes will help you in this process. Being in the right frame of mind before you begin will assist you to your goal in a quicker, more positive manner.

Once you have determined to seek counseling, begin researching viable options. The World Wide Web is a great source of information on counseling spots in your city or town. If you feel entering counseling will be too overwhelming for you or your schedule does not allow it, the Internet is also a great tool that enables you to virtually meet and discuss with individuals from all over the world.

There are many websites, forums, and chat rooms devoted to individuals working to rebuild their self confidence. You can join these sites anonymously if you are worried about others finding out your private information, but still have the capability to begin some type of counseling. Many individuals have a strong, confidence façade, but lack the same components on the inside. If you find yourself in this situation and do not want the world to know you have a problem with your self confidence, this method of virtual counseling is perfect for you.

Traditional counseling tends to be the most effective method of rebuilding your dwindling self confidence. Universities, hospitals, churches, civic groups, and even local organizations offer counseling of one sort of another. You may be interested in joining a support group in order to interact with others that share your feelings of doubt and distrust.

Many individuals find themselves too shy or ashamed for one reason or another to join a support group, or any other type of group counseling, immediately. If you find yourself in this boat, consider private counseling first, then graduating on to group counseling. If money is a concern, it should be known that group counseling is usually a great deal cheaper—if not free—than private, one-on-one counseling.

What ever form of counseling you decide upon, enter into it with seriousness and determination. If you maintain a positive attitude and strive towards achieving your goals, your self confidence is guaranteed to drastically improve.

Building Your Child's Self Esteem

2008-07-20T23:01:00.000-07:00

It's one of those things that all parents want to provide for their children and one of those things that many feel they do not know how to do: raise a self-confident child. Self-esteem oftentimes seems like a fragile, distant thing that we all know what it is but don't know how to develop.

Your self-esteem is a compilation of how you feel about yourself. It encompasses everything from your confidence in relationships, to your body image, to your work life. So how do you foster this "thing" in your children?

We teach our children "honesty is the best policy." This applies to how we deal with our children as much as it does expecting them to be honest with us. When it comes to your child's self-esteem, he or she will know or be able to sense if you are not being honest. For example, if art is not your child's top skill, don't say that his or her drawing is the best you've ever seen.

Your child will know it's not, and will not believe you the next time you say something meant to be positive, no matter how honest it is. Instead, tell your child something genuine about the piece or the effort. Make non-judgmental statements such as, "You really used your imagination in making the flowers many different colors." This simply states your observation, rather than a false statement.

Also, understand that your child and your child's behavior are two separate things. This can be very hard to remember, particularly when your child is acting out in ways that make you crazy or that are unsafe.

However, when you discipline your child for the behavior rather than the person, you can positively influence and foster self esteem. Why? If your child feels that you are mad, because of who he or she is as a person rather than for the behavior, this can negatively affect your child's self-esteem. Using "I" statements helps with this. Say something like, "I don't like it when you leave your toys scattered all over the floor," which also addresses the behavior, rather than, "You are a slob," which attacks their character.

Let your child make some decisions. Children are in a situation where everyone else is constantly telling them what to do, when to do it, where to go, and more. When children are allowed to make some choices, even if it's something small, they learn to be self-reliant.

You don't want your children growing up feeling dependent on others for direction. Simple choices such as what to wear (you can offer two or three choices) or choosing a special lunch item will foster your child's being able to think independently.

Encourage your children to try new things. While there's nothing wrong with encouraging your child's talents--this will help build self-confidence as well--it's also important that your children learn to experiment. Trying new things helps everyone overcome fears of the unknown and helps us learn to deal with success and failure. If a child never learns to try new things, this can create problems later in life.

After all, most people do not live in world where everything is the same day after day. Life is constantly changing, whether it's a move to a new city or starting a new career. If children are experienced at trying new things, even if small, life's bigger transitions will be much easier--such as leaving for college and starting a career.

These are, of course, only a few things you can do to help develop your child's self-confidence. The important thing to remember is that it is an ongoing process. The little things do add up, even if they seem unimportant. This can be helpful to keep in mind, particularly when something as important as developing your child's self esteem feels like a monumental task. It doesn't have to be! Taking time to recognize your child for the wonderful person he or she is, combined with a few techniques and consistency will go a long way toward raising a healthy, confident adult.

Building Self Esteem

2008-07-16T01:48:00.000-07:00

Self esteem is your own personal view of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Everyone has a different view of themselves, but keeping a positive outlook will benefit you more than a negative one. Many individuals suffer from low self esteem for a variety of reasons and need to build their self esteem in order to succeed in life.

Remember, the only one who can make you excel is you and no one else. The same goes for self esteem. The only person who can build up—or consequentially tear down—your self esteem is you. Although other individuals may aide the process, the end decision is yours.

People have low esteem for a variety of reasons. Some individuals suffer from poor body image and focus on all the negative traits of their physical appearance. Others have emotional issues that have caused their self esteem to drop or feel themselves unworthy of any praise.

For whatever reasons your self esteem may falter, the key to building it up again is to find the root of the problem. Think of self esteem like a house, if you build a stunning house on a poor foundation, the entire structure will crumble. However, if you take steps to ensure the foundation is strong and capable of holding anything, the process may be slow, but your self esteem will be built soundly.

Many individuals look for help for their low self esteem in books or seminars. The number of available options on the market is phenomenal, and you are sure to find one on a topic that deals with your specific issues.

Check out your local library or book store and explore their “self help” section for a book that you may find helpful. It is quite unlikely you will find the answers to all your problems in a book, but you may find it helpful to know others are in your same boat and you are certainly not alone. Additionally, you may wish to seek professional help in your quest to boost your self esteem.

Often, speaking with a qualified individual can help you determine the root of your problem and the necessary path you should take for the rebuilding process. Perhaps your problems dates back to childhood, or maybe it has recently developed. Whatever the case, a professional will be able to best determine your next step.

A main factor in self esteem is negativity. Negative thoughts can pervade your confidence and crumble your self esteem. If you find yourself surrounded by negative people or in a negative situation, try to best remedy the problem.

Often, individuals in a abusive relationship have their self esteem shattered when a supposed loved one constantly berates them and questions their worth. Similarly, a negative workplace environment can lower your self esteem with colleagues or bosses finding fault with your work.
Maybe you have a friend who is consistently negative with all surrounding him or her. Whatever the source, distancing yourself from the negativity will help you regain your self esteem. Strive to surround yourself with positive people. If you are going through a rough time in your personal life, you may wish to join a support group.

Similarly, there are support groups available for individuals with self image issues. These groups will allow you to meet other individuals like yourself and provide a forum for you to sound your hopes and achievements.

However you choose to begin building your self esteem, do so today! Be thorough and consistent with the process and be aware it may take a while. You should not become impatient or despondent if you find your self esteem slipping. Remember, you are an important and worthy person and should treat yourself as such.

Building Your Self-Confidence at Work

2008-07-10T17:36:00.000-07:00

Many people wish they felt more secure about their abilities on the job. In other words, they're looking for increased self-confidence when it comes to performing the work, dealing with coworkers, and handling tough situations. If you're one of these people, you're not alone. What can you do to feel more self-assured about your job?

First, remember that you are not your job. That is, if you make a mistake at work, this does not mean that you are stupid, worthless, or that you're in the wrong position. It's all too easy to take mistakes personally, seeing them as a reflection of your true person rather than for what it is: a mistake.

Even though it may not always appear so, everyone makes mistakes from time to time. The best way to deal with a mistake is to own up to it right away and present a solution. This shows that you are honest, and by presenting ways to fix the problem, your boss can send you on your way to deal with the issue. Acting honestly and straightforwardly is best for you--you'll feel better about yourself--and best for the company (which again will help you feel better).

Another common issue is feeling insecure when it comes to coworkers. Many people feel that they do not fit in, are unsure how to handle conflict, or have an overbearing coworker or boss that they don't know how to communicate with. Any of these feelings can wear at your self-esteem.

You may feel you have nothing to offer the group, whether socially or on projects, you avoid conflict, and may allow others to step on you. If socialization is a problem, it will require you to step out of your comfort zone a bit. This does not mean you need to jump right in with a large company gathering; rather, take it slow by opening conversations with one or two coworkers.

Chances are you'll have something in common. Asking questions about the other person is always a great way to go; just avoid questions with simple yes or no answers.

When dealing with conflict resolution and difficult employees, learning some proven communication techniques may be necessary. Consider attending a course on conflict resolution and dealing with difficult people. In the meantime, remember that the overbearing person likely has a lot of insecurities as well, and these are what cause the behavior.

In the midst of conflict, do your best to avoid being pulled into argumentative situations. Don't reward the other person's behavior by getting upset or immediately backing down. If necessary, say you'll continue the conversation when everyone has had a chance to cool down. Dealing with negative coworkers is never fun. Try and remember that your self worth is not dependent on the coworker's approval, even if that person is your boss.

It could be you're feeling unsure about your skills. This one is pretty easy--learn more! Many companies offer continuing education options, will pay for schooling, or offer professional development in house.

Whatever your employer offers, take advantage. If your company does not have this option, find some good books on the subject. Ask your colleagues for suggestions, or if you're a member of any type of professional group, seek advice there as well. Many of your peers will have good suggestions on what's worth looking into.

Finally, give yourself some challenges. One great way to build your self confidence at work is to take on a special project or extra work. If you choose something you feel passionate about or something in your specialty area, you can show yourself and your colleagues that you are able to produce results.

Even if you fail, you're showing initiative and willingness by taking on special projects. Knowing that you put yourself out there, rather than sitting on the sidelines, can be a great confidence booster. And the same can be said for when it goes well.

Source : howtoconfidence

Self Confidence Makes You a Great Lover!

2008-07-07T18:58:00.000-07:00

Love is a beautiful emotion, a gift of God, given to a chosen few. Not everybody get lots of love in his or her lifetime. However, many times lovers mess it up by not able to meet each other’s expectations by growing too possessive, by becoming overtly shy, by becoming unnecessarily skeptical and what not!

Most of the time, the culprit is within ourselves making us see things much bigger and magnified than they actually are and makes us overreact to events that could have been easily avoided. It is much easier to lose than to build something – especially when it comes to the matters of the heart.

An ignorant and careless person is vulnerable to losing a lot, including his or her life partner as well. This article tells you some simple things that you can remember to help keep you from hurting your partner and keep your love life blossoming. Here are some habits of self-confident lovers.

Self-confident lovers are not jealous

If you are jealous of your partner, this is a sure indication that the foundations of love are not deep enough to withstand the wear and tear of time. Self confident lovers consider their partners as an extension of their own selves and feel happy if somebody has something good to say about their partners. There is no “yours” or “mine” in their relationship. It’s always “ours,” which forms the basis of their love.

Most people get embarrassed or skeptical, or annoyed when someone makes a remark that “Your girl is so beautiful” or “Don’t you think your boyfriend has a talent of impressing girls around.” However, a confident man would say, “Yes. I know she is so beautiful and we are proud to be in love,” while a self-confident girl will shoot back – “Yes. He impressed me too!” Remember that your individual qualities now are a combined “quality pool” belonging to you both, and both partners must treat is as an asset. This is only possible when both of you are confident of each other’s love and commitment.

Self-confident lovers are more forgiving

Since self-confident people can maintain a cool and calm composure in the times of crisis, they are better at analyzing situations and are able to put themselves in their partner’s shoes. This way, they get their partner’s viewpoint and understand their behavior. In many instances, it happens that certain behavior of our partner annoys us or makes us skeptical. Lack of self-confidence can also make us think negatively. However, self-confident lovers believe in the policy of “forgive and forget” and can move on.

Self-confident lovers make their partner more secure and comfortable

In a relationship, looks do matter, but then the characteristics that matter even more are a sensible and rational nature, sense of humor, ability to handle tough situations and more. Self-confident lovers are the best places to look for these attributes. Their self confidence is contagious and they are promising professionals as well.

They enjoy respect and camaraderie, and nurture positive and constructive thoughts. They seem to have the ability to push away problems and provide for their family. In this world where genuine love seems to be an urgent need to calm humanity, a self-confident lover makes us feel secure, comfortable and this life seems worth living for!

Self-confident lovers give their partner a great gift – the gift of independence!

Sometimes love rather than liberate us, actually binds us. So much so that a possessive partner would like to have all the details of our lives. Who are the people you work with? Who was that “Daniel” who gave you a call at 7 in the morning? Why do you want to have your personal car? Why do you have to wear makeup every time you go out? Why are you wearing this dress at this hour…and so on!

Love, which was once the most beautiful emotion in our lives, which seemed to fill us with hope and enthusiasm, now seems to drain out all the energy from us. You feel as if you are bound to someone, answerable to someone and tethered to the wall with limited mobility. Love does not seem much more than slavery. Self-confident lovers realize the importance of independence. They let their partner fly and soar great heights, because they know that at the end of the day, it is to their arms their partner will return!

Source : howtoconfidence

How To Build Your Self Confidence

2008-07-06T17:39:00.000-07:00

Learn to accept yourself

The very first step is to accept yourself – lovingly. No person in the world in perfect so why bother and shed tears over your imperfectness. This is how God wanted us to be – Imperfect! We might have something that someone else may lack and someone else might be endowed with the qualities, which we lack.

This incompleteness makes us go out and seek companions who make us feel loved, wanted and complete. Oh what a great feeling! Would we experience it if we were inside the cocoon of our perfection? Never! So accept yourself the way you are. It will free your mind of a heavy baggage of unnecessary worries. You will instantly feel light and cheerful.

Liberate yourself - Go out and do what you like!

How long it has been since you last went to have a walk among the pines – something that you loved as a child? How long has it been when you walked hand in hand with your friend to the bakery and tossed a coin to decide what to buy? These might seem very simple things but these simple things have the power to add on to build great confidence and fulfilment.

Life if see is actually quite simple. What gets a bit too complex though is to remain simple. Isn’t it? Just as small drops of water make the mighty ocean, the little things you enjoy doing have the capability to turn you into a storehouse of confidence. When God made you, He put a desire in your heart and bestowed onto you the capability to achieve it.

However, in the process of growing up, you forgot what exactly was your purpose, what is that you liked and what is that you enjoyed doing. It does happen with lots and lots of people who do feel like breaking free but are too tied up in their day to day responsibilities that it gets impossible for them to spare even 10 minutes to reflect on their lives, their direction, their dreams and goals. It’s our duty to clear the mess that prevents us from hearing to our heart.

The conversations with your heart should keep getting clearer and the best way to do it is to find time to do what you enjoy. And since you enjoy doing that activity, it straightaway means that you have all the aptitude and intelligence necessary to do the job effortlessly even though you may not realize it.

Find your flock

Birds of a feather flock together. You must find out people with whom you enjoy being. They are certainly the people of your frequency and the energy flow between you and them is natural.

Life becomes easy when you are among the people who are more or less on the same plane of thought as you and it’s easier to relate to them. They seem to understand you and vice versa thus creating conditions for healthy conversations. A good conversation is a very healthy exercise and an important need of our mind. We all want our ideas to be heard and appreciated and a good company provides platform for the same.

Set Achievable Goals and Go for it!

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The idea is to begin with a small single step that can then further developed into giant strides. Learn to do the work at hand rather than to overwhelm oneself by looking at the entirety of a mammoth looking task. Just like the soil underneath your foot, the top of mountain too would someday be under your step.

The only way to do something is to Go For It! No matter how small the progress is the focus should be on completing a task successfully even though it’s a small task. A series of big uncompleted task is a sure shot way to depression. Break a big task into a list of small tasks to be completed. Tick off from your list each job successfully completed. A completed task no matter how small it is gives a sense of achievement that boosts our confidence and equips us with more energy to try a bigger task.

Source : howtoconfidence

Self Esteem in the Workplace

2008-07-04T18:42:00.000-07:00

The job market can be a stressful and fierce place for individuals of all ages. Whether you are just beginning your first job or fixing to retire after years of diligent work, you will find maintaining your self esteem in the workplace is critical to your success in you specific career field.

Keeping your self esteem at a high level will allow you to best deal with bosses, clients, and coworkers in various environments while maintaining a cool, professional demeanor. This fantastic quality can separate you from the rest of the pack, propelling you to the front for promotions, special projects, and receiving employment.

The task of searching and finding a job that fits into your choice of career field is quite an undertaking. The advent of the World Wide Web allows individuals of all ages, career choices, and places in their employment history to search for job openings in all aspects of the job market. From medical work to teaching positions, you are sure to find a job opening that best fits your needs without leaving the comfort of your own home.

More traditional ways of finding employment includes your local newspaper’s classified advertisement section. Additionally, many individuals seek out headhunters or enroll with temp agencies that have a phenomenal success rate in finding jobs for qualified individuals.

Once you have found the job that best fits your needs, begin the application process. This may prove quite taxing of your self esteem, as you may potentially be turned down by one or more of your prospective jobs. You should not take any dismissals personally, as the business in question is looking at your strengths, experiences, and skills strictly on paper. If you are called into an interview, carefully preparing for the experience will allow you better success than going into an interview without any preparation at all.

Individuals who do well in interviews have a high sense of self esteem and know they are totally capable of completing any task at hand. The potential employer may find it necessary to conduct more than one interview in order to understand all aspects of your personality, work ethic, skills, and experiences that will positively affect your performance at their company.

If you are accepted for the position, your self esteem should be going through the roof! Take this time to positively reward yourself for all the hard work and effort you have put into the job search, application, and interview processes. When it comes time to enter your new place of work, be sure to bring you newly boosted self esteem along.

Maintain your level while meeting your fellow coworkers and your new boss or bosses. Know the chain of command and understand which individual you should seek in different situations. Understand how your place of employment works before you begin to implement or request changes. Only begin to make new rules or regulations after you have thoroughly reviewed the current status and situation of a variety of different things. Your self esteem is sure to take a blow if you hastily make changes for the sake of making changes. If you decide to make changes in your workplace, ask your coworkers for their opinions before any implementation should occur.

Finally, beware of office politics or any other things that can potentially tear away at your self esteem and even danger your position in the company. Maintain a high level of professionalism in all matters of your job, especially when dealing with your coworkers or bosses. When dealing with clients, treat each individual with the utmost respect and in the most professional terms. Your high self esteem is sure to give you a boost in the workplace.

Source : howtoconfidence

Encouraging Self Esteem in Girls

2008-07-03T23:47:00.001-07:00

Children, adolescents, and teenagers generally experience some sort of self esteem issues during one part of the advancement to adulthood. This problem seems to be magnified in girls rather than boys. There are many possible reasons why this seems to be the case, including developmental hormones, different social relationships in girls, and certain other gender differences that add to the problem. If you are a parent of a young girl, you may want to consider her quality of self esteem and work towards reinforcing or boosting your child’s self esteem early on in her development.

There are many resources available to you when looking in to boosting your child’s self esteem. Access the World Wide Web and search different websites that contain information about the development of young girls and how possessing low self esteem can potentially be detrimental to their development. Also, you will be able to contact different parents or guardians in the same situations as yourself.

Consider trading tips or stories with these other virtual friends who share your same goal concerning their own female child. Also, your local library is an excellent resource for information on this topic.

Check out the sections devoted to parenting, development, and the social situations with girls to gain a better understanding of this problem and how not providing a potential solution can be extremely negative to your child. Furthermore, your local bookstore has a phenomenal selection of books that are sure to answer all your questions about the impact of your daughter’s self esteem.

If necessary, you may want to join a discussion or support group regarding in order to speak with other parents about how they are tackling this issue. To find a group that is suitable to your specific needs, you may want to contact your local Department of Parks and Recreation.

Often, city and county parks departments offer parenting classes and can be able to provide you the name and number of a specific group that fits your interest. Also, your local library usually has a list of clubs, groups, and organizations within your community.

By far the best way to better instill the importance of high self esteem in girls is to lead by example. If your daughter sees you suffering from low self esteem or constantly causing another individual to suffer from low self esteem, any lessons you may be able to provide will be lost.

Most importantly, be sure to never berate, insult, or intimidate your daughter, which can potentially cause serious developmental problems that can surface later on in her life. Many girls who suffer mental anguish, teasing, hazing, or bullying have remarkably low levels of self esteem and are often timid, unsure, and hesitant when dealing with other individuals. This problem can pass on into adulthood as the scars of childhood issues make a lasting impact on their self esteem.

Consider speaking with other parents of your daughter’s friends or classmates in order to come up with clever ways to impact the children’s self esteem. Include discussions about self esteem in your daily life.

Encourage your children to read books that put a positive light on growing up and whose main characters are strong and capable girls. Encourage your daughter in all aspects of her life, scholastic, athletic, social, and extracurricular. Sit down with your daughter and write down a set of goals for both you and her to accomplish. When one of these goals is accomplished, be sure to celebrate this marker, no matter how small.

Whatever you decide to do with your daughter, your participation in her life is sure to positively affect her self esteem, in addition to many other factors.

Source : howtoconfidence

Improving Your Teen’s Self-Esteem

2008-07-03T22:55:00.000-07:00

The teenage years are often the most difficult time of childhood. During this time, children are blossoming into adults and struggle to determine the individual identity. It is no shock the teen years are the most dreaded by parents, but these fragile youngsters are at a critical time in their lives.

Often, boundaries are pushed and rules are stretched by a teenager yearning to take that “next step” into adulthood. Teens find themselves not only faced with emotional transitions, but also physical changes. In the midst of these physical and emotional evolutions, a teen’s self-esteem can be compromised. Parents can take certain steps in order to ensure that a child’s self-esteem is not affected by the turbulent teenage years.

The best way to improve your teen’s self-esteem is to take an active role in your child’s life. By knowing his or her interests, friends, strengths, and weaknesses, you will be aware of any problems that may arise. Starting from a young age, instill a positive attitude in your child.

Children who have a great sense of self-worth are more apt to blossom into teenagers with a great sense of self-worth. Take time to talk with your teen instead of talking to your teen. If your child believes his or her opinion or thoughts have an impact in the home front, that individual is more apt to have a greater self-esteem. Allowing your teen to have a say in decisions that affect the entire family will further impress a sense of self-worth, thus positively affect his or her self-esteem.

Children learn by example, and teenagers are no different. Teens whose parents showcase high self-esteem are more likely to exhibit self-esteem. Conversely, parents with low self-esteem or who constantly question their self-worth will pass those traits on to their children simply by their actions. The way you interact with your friends, family members, and colleagues will rub off on your children.

Individuals with low self-esteem set poor examples for their teens and should not be surprised when their teens exhibit similar actions. Children are like a sponge, so take care not to comment negatively towards yourself or others. Many teens with issues regarding their physical appearance learn these behaviors from home. Television, movies, and music play a huge part in any teenager’s life. These outlets seem obsessed with a pre-conceived idea of perfection that will most likely differ from that of the average individual. Take time to speak with your teen regarding these issues.

Interaction with your teenager will allow you first-hand information on any problems he or she may be having and make an attempt to remedy these situations. Often, teenagers are quite sensitive about their appearance due to acne or other issues. If this is the case, consider making an appointment with a dermatologist who will be able to remedy the situation.

Similarly, your teen may be interested in changing his or her appearance to best fit a burgeoning identity, but may be hesitant to approach a parent. Remember, teenagers straddle the line between child and young adult. Although they may yearn to be an adult, the child part still needs reassurance from a parent. If you as a parent feel a requested physical transformation will not benefit your teen, make a compromise. Often, teens are looking to be outrageous in order to push boundaries set by parents. Instead of lowering your teen’s self-esteem by creating a confrontation, create an atmosphere of discussion and compromise.

Open communication cannot be stressed enough. Take time to talk to your teen about their friends, classes, activities, or interests. Teach your teen to accentuate the positive instead of focusing on attributes they see as weak or negative. Instill a sense great self esteem at a young age that will continue with your teen as he or she grows. You may wish to enroll your child in self-esteem building classes or extra curricular activities that will boost their self-worth. Whatever the case, taking an active part in your teen’s life is the best way to see them through this transitional time in their lives with their self-esteem intact.

Source : howtoconfidence